GrimMoira's Tavern

How Deep is Your Love

Posted on February 22, 2018

I know this is rather late for a Valentine’s Day kinda post but I wanna share this.

I remember this vividly – my mother was on the couch and she was crying at what she was watching. I heard my father’s voice, he was teasing my mother about crying again and she threw the pillows and small towel she used to wipe her tears. My father was laughing his ass off and he struggled to get my mother into his arms.

My father thought he got my mother locked into his arms but she bit him and he yowled in pain and they both started laughing their brains out.

Then the song ‘How Deep is Your Love‘ started playing. I remember looking down and seeing my chubby hands briefly and then that was it.

I asked my mother years ago about this and she was surprised how I remember it all – down to the song.

That was my first memory of my parents and my first memory of love.

 

(The original Bee Gees is the best and there are so many great covers. The one I linked recently blew me away. I hope you all enjoy the song!)

Webcomics

Posted on February 21, 2018

Hi all!

I’ve updated the Tumblr website for :EPOCH Files.  A whole chapter is there for you to read and enjoy.

Also updated is the Tumblr website for Double Scoop!

Linds and I do have new materials and new stuff coming up and we can’t wait to show you guys!

If you guys have Tumblr, do give us a follow! We’d love to hear from you!

 

2018

Posted on February 3, 2018

Hey guys!

Yes, it’s already February. I can’t believe it either.

Yes, my last post was November. I want to say that my social life took over but unfortunately, it’s still RL that got me static.

I will be posting about my trip in Taiwan this week. I was there for 7 days and 6 nights and I had a blast.

Updates on the trip and comics will be up soon.

 

Childhood Friend

Posted on November 1, 2017

Her name was Ivy.

I met her one afternoon while I was playing at the wooded back area of the compound. She was at the other side of the gates, just watching me swing on the gigantic wheel my uncle set up as a swing set. My yaya (nanny) was not far from me and she was reading one of her romantic pocket books as she sat on the cool grass.

I remember seeing her eyes first, just peeking through the vine covered gate. They were not like the usual colour that I was used to seeing. Hers was bright and light in colour – hazel and unblinking. I remember staring at it until she blinked at me. I remember being taken aback but unafraid as many children were at that age – we don’t scare easily but we do feel curiousity.

I smiled at the eyes and it just stared back.

‘Oy, what are you looking at, ha?’ my yaya asked, looking at where I was staring. I shook my head and looked back at where the eyes was and it was gone.

‘YOU are going to get sick again,’ she tells me as she sweeps me off the tire swing. ‘We better go back in, the hour is not so good for you to be out now,’ she said as she looked around, cautiously.

I had a fever that night which went away after a few days. I wasn’t allowed to go out in the afternoons after that.

One morning, I woke up almost as early as my lolo (grandfather). He wakes up at 4am on the dot. I sneaked out of my bed and left behind my yaya who was sleeping next to me. I wanted to go with my lolo to buy pandesal (salt bread) and mornings in Philippines are cold. I took my yaya’s shawl and quietly went out of the back door. The sky was still dark but bright enough to see the path going towards my grandparents’ house which was just right next door.

‘Where are you going?’ someone said behind me. I froze and didn’t look behind me. I didn’t recognize the voice.

‘It’s too early for you to be out at this hour.’ The voice came from a little girl. I spun around to look at her but no one was around.

‘Here.’ I look up and there was a girl looking over the wall. She had bright hair and had a big smile. ‘Do you remember me?’

I shushed her, and looked behind me to check on my mother’s opened windows. ‘Whisper! I don’t want to get caught.’

She smiled excitedly and said, ‘I’ll whisper if you promise to be my friend.’

‘Okay, I will! Shhhhh….’

‘My name is Ivy, I’ll be your best friend until the end of time.’ she whispers as she drops down from the wall. I just thought she was strange, wakes up really early and went on my way. For a moment, I wondered how she got up to that high wall but I quickly forgot about it.

But she did keep her word.

After a few weeks, I was allowed to go back to play in my spot. As I ran to my tire swing, I hear a whistle. It was Ivy. I ran towards her.

‘Hey, you know how to whistle! Can you teach me how to whistle, my uncle makes fun of me all the time coz he says I don’t have enough teeth to whistle. You have really light hair – lighter than mine!’

She laughs. ‘I can teach you how to whistle if you like. I like your hair more, it’s like princess hair,’ she says as she reached out to touch my curly hair. I notice now that her eyes are like hazel with blue and I remember seeing foreigners on TV with similar characteristics.

‘Are you an American?’

‘No, I’m just me.’

‘Then something else?’

‘Yes. Something else.’ She smiles at me and said, ‘I have something for you.’ she reaches behind her and it’s a crown of wildflowers.

I gasp. ‘You made it yourself?!’

‘Yes, for you.’ she says as she puts it on my head.

‘I want to make one for you!’ I tell her as I feel the wild flowers on my hair.

‘I can teach you.’

‘How do you know how to make….

‘HOY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!’

‘Yaya, I was talking to my friend,’ I tell her as she removes me from where I was sitting.

‘What friend?’

I look back at Ivy but she was gone. She may have been scared off by my yaya.

‘Where did you get that?’ she points at the crown of flowers on my head.

‘My friend gave it to me, she made it.’ My yaya gave me a concerned look.

‘How old is your friend?’

‘Same as me.’

‘You’re going back in the house.’

After that, I never told anyone about meeting Ivy. She gets scared off by them easily. Sometimes I bring toys with me so she will go over the wall to sit with me. Sometimes she wants to brush my hair with her fingers and I wouldn’t like it coz her hands were cold. She taught me to whistle but I couldn’t whistle to birds like she does.

When we migrated, I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to her. My parents were in a rush to leave and I remember I thought we were just going on a vacation.

I didn’t think about her until recently. I asked my aunt if she remembers my friend, Ivy.

She said she did – she remembered my imaginary friend.

‘What do you mean, imaginary? She was real.’

‘She wasn’t, dear. You introduced us several times to your imaginary friend.’

‘I took pictures with her? She was there on my birthday party?’

‘Yes you took pictures. Solo pictures.’

I was baffled. I checked if I had photos with her in the old family albums. I found nothing. Not even on that birthday party I invited her to. No light haired girl with the hazel blue eyes.

To this day, I wonder if I actually made her up or if she was indeed – something else.

 

#MeToo

Posted on October 18, 2017

I was 10 years old.

I had to buy stationery and the closest & cheapest place was this mini grocery store not far from my place. The store is like a cubicle and packed with whatever you needed. One of the regular staff was standing by the door of the shop. I was having a good day so for once, I smiled at him politely and went in to look for the notebook that I needed which was at the very back of the shop. No one can see you from back there if no one knows you were back there and kids can pocket whatever things from back there if they had itchy hands. He followed me after a while and asked me what I was looking for. I said I was just looking and the next thing I know, he put his hand on my shoulder and I felt it go down my 10 year old chest. I was already wearing a training bra at that age. I was paralysed and refused to look at him. I was scared and confused. I shoved the notebook towards him and told him I want to pay. He kept smiling at me and he kept repeating that he wanted to invite me to eat so we can be friends.

I felt so sick and horrified for months.

I wanted to tell my parents but I was afraid that it was my fault. My mother was strict and I didn’t want her to think I am making up stories. I refused to go to the store and my mother kept blaming me for being lazy. Or I’d go to another store.

It happened a second time – after a year. He touched my arm and I screamed. I screamed at him not to touch me. I don’t know what happened to him after because the other staff went to where we were and found me screaming and throwing things at him. I never went back again.

I was 11 – an older teen, he was 19, wanted to date me when I was in primary school and when he started making suggestive sexual comments, I told him not to call me or I will tell my parents about him. I was 15 – a teacher used to touch himself inappropriately when I was in high school whenever he and I are the only ones walking down the hallway. I didn’t tell anyone because the whole school loved him. I ignored him.  I was 22 – one of my friends’ father started calling me personally after he made some awkward advances towards me which horrified and shocked me, asking me to go their flat to hang out with him, even if my friend was off to college. Often, he’d ask me to pick up packages that were never sent to their flat. I would ask my friend about the packages and it became very awkward. I found out that he tried the same thing with another friend whom I opened up to. I was 25 – I was drugged and raped by an acquaintance. I blamed myself and didn’t realize it was rape until I stopped blaming myself. I told my best friend about it who helped me through it. I was 27 – I had a boss who became a father figure to me and helped me out with problems – and when I rejected his advances, he fired me. This time, my mother knew about it. I was 32 – I had an ex who was emotionally abusive to me and the wake up call was when it started involving my family. My family knows about it – no more bullshit.

I never ask for any of this but it happens. It can happen to anyone

I am eternally grateful that I have a strong support group of friends and family.

I am not a person who likes to discuss personal issues and I am not one to jump into the bandwagon. I have nieces who are growing up so quickly before my eyes and one of my wishes is that they grow up in a safe environment and even if something tries to break through that barrier of safety – I want to be one of the people who will take anything down.

I believe one of the things that would help is if I show them that I am not afraid to speak out about it.

Remember you are not alone.

Double Scoop

Posted on October 14, 2017

Hi all!

I hope the weekend has been good to you all!

I will be posting up old Double Scoop comics that L and I made when we were still at Tapastic. Please note that all our comics have the Tapastic address and logo but unfortunately, we are no longer posting our work there so it’s not available anymore.

I will be posting them every other week, until we decide how to proceed with the comic since it’s in popular demand but we don’t work together anymore. Hopefully we’ll get around to how to do this but in any case, I will let you guys know when there is an update. We’re still deciding where to host it.

In any case, below is a sample of our work.

Enjoy!

ds_ideas1ds_ideas2ds_ideas3

Nanowrimo and witchcraft

Posted on October 10, 2017

Hey everyone!

It’s almost Halloween and I am hoping to finish stuff that I wanted to put out but then as I was writing it, all I could think about is – this would be great for NaNoWrimo!

Yes, can you believe it? We’re almost halfway through October and the next thing you know, it’s 2018.

The elders were right. As you age, time goes faster every year.

Anyway, I am hoping to come up with another thing to post here instead.

Speaking of Halloween, you guys heard about how people are talking about vampires and witches are running amok in Malawi? It’s crazy but man, I won’t say I don’t believe in the supernatural. Do let me know if you believe in these things, I mean if things ever happened to you or you know someone.

I was once accused of being a witch, well several times. but the best one was my ex accusing me of using witchcraft to make him fall in love with me. Hilarious.

Anyway, laters!

P.S. Last night, as I was trying to get my newly adopted cat bonded with my other two cats, I was reading Less by Andrew Sean Greer. It’s a comedy of sorts and you can’t help but feel for the protagonist Arthur Less. I have no doubt that people would love it, it’s an easy read, feels a bit like chick lit (okay maybe it is!) but if you are gonna read it with other people at the same time, everyone would be high-fiving, knowing what’s it all about. READ IT!

 

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